just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
i believe in u and ur pee
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
