Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
