i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
