No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
