I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
