So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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