Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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