those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
