You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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