Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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