The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
