She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
The ass gains better be worth it
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