I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
