He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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