he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
ttyl tear gas
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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