I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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