My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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