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I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
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