So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
