I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
