His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
