how can u be prego again
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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