it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
