wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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