I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
