Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Randomize
