:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
