you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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