She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
ok first of all what the fuck
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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