the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
