That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
