Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
