the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
