i wish starbucks made bloody marys
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Dick very happy bro
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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