Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My vagina just clenched in fear
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
