That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
4 words: hood of his car
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
