I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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