Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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