STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
