Where is the hickey?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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