while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
