capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
My bed smells like the plague
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
