their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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