Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
