This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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