cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
