I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
