Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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