Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
