Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
