Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
wow bdsm is so cute
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
