But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
this hospital has no fireball
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
