It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
