so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
